English Trickery!

Oh Diary.

I have not the words to express my rage and simultaneous despair.

Actually, I have PLENTY of words!

FIDDLESTICKS! PRETTY PINK PONY POO AND FAIRY FLOSS! SNUGGLE MUFFINS! FANCY PANTS! GOSH DUNKING MALT BALLS AND CHEESECAKE!!!

There.

My soul feels slightly lifted.

Well, Diary, I'm sure you recall how I nearly exploded with exultation all over my last entry regarding the love note from "Lady McD." Now? The only thing which bursts forth from me is a shower of tears.

You see, as I was skipping toward dinner, my scandalously delicious note in hand, I came along none other than Young Siward.

(Excuse me while I gag myself!)

You see Diary, Young Siward and his dreadful father are visiting this month. Apparently, Young Siward is a gifted swordsmen...if you catch my drift my dear Diary. He never loses an opportunity to mock my...well...shortcomings. And since DonalBORING hasn't yet returned from what father is calling his "vacation of a permanent variety", Young Siward has been staying in my quarters with me. I am sure now that he has violated you my sweet, indulgent, non-judgement book of thoughts. For it was he who composed the letter. When we met in the hall, he immediately asked what bit of paper I was clutching to my breast. My reply? "None of your beeswax swarthy Englishman!"

It was then that he backhanded me.

And Diary? He was laughing with such maniacal glee I feared he might bring me up off the floor by my underoos...again. But rather he, began reciting the note! MY NOTE!

As he concluded, continuing to cackle madly, I realized the horrible truth before he even spoke it.

No! No, alas, the note was not written in the hand of my ripe peach, my dulcet darling, my Venus!

But Diary? Despite this setback, my resolution is as firm and hard as ever. I shall have that kiss from LadyMcD whether it was she who promised it or no!