Dear Malcolm's Diary,
Still unknown to woman. Father continues to drop hints about my future kingship. I can't help but get all tickled pink when he mentions it. Father gets angry every time I do. He says kings do not get tickled (nor wear pink for that matter) and tells me to not do the "pee-pee dance" everytime he mentions it. It's not my fault, Diary! How often does one become king? Well, when I am king I can get just as tickled as I like.
If I am to be king, I must have a title. All good kings have one. There is a lot riding on this, Diary. I must choose the one that best describes me. Hmmm..."King Malcolm the Kindly? King Malcolm the Boyishly Handsome?The Pure in the Naughty Bits? The Known for His Ability to Remain Pure and Untainted in His Nature While Simultaneously Egging Others On to Believe He Is a Lusty Despot On The Make, Thereby Proving Their Moral Fibre to Him Whilst Falsely Destroying The Small Thread of Hope They Still Cling to - Only to Turn Around and Say the Iambic Equivalent of "Just Kidding?"" Maybe. A bit long of tooth, but it shows promise. Well, until tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...
Love,
"King Malcolm the "
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2 comments:
If the only thing we ever got out of Macboo was "Dear Malcolm's Diary," I could die happy.
I'm not entirely sure how I lived before.
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